Getting Over A Break Up, Do You Want To Try To Getting Back Together Again?
Getting over break up right now? It can be hard. Are you on an emotional roller coaster?
When you think of your ex, one minute you can’t live without them and then the next minute you want to hit them in the head. Is your heart breaking open? Well, it’s not easy to hear, but this is a perfectly normal phase in getting over her breakup.
You may have heard of a grief process that people go through when somebody has passed away, the stages of grief. Well, that same grief process applies to life losses such as the loss of her relationship. There are steps to be taken. It may sound strange, but some people believe that getting over the loss of her relationship is more difficult than getting over a death. When we lose a relationship were supposed to just get over it and move on by ourselves.
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A very practical exercise and possibly the first thing you might want to consider is to get all the poisonous thoughts and negative emotions out of you and down on paper. Write a long letter to your ex-partner. Spill it all out, recall the good times and bad times the loving and the fighting. Put down all the fears, resentments, and anger you can muster up. This is a complete dumb job get everything out of yourself and onto paper. Give yourself some freedom to express because nobody is ever going to read this letter especially your ex.
Once the letter is complete, you’re going to burn it. Say goodbye to all those negative emotions and the relationship itself. A friend of mine did this and rather than burn the letter they rolled it up put it in a bottle and threw it in the ocean.
Now that you have taken some action on your thoughts and emotions, it is time to deal with some physical realities. Remove the physical evidence. If the relationship has developed over time you probably have some of your partner’s possessions and they have some of yours. It’s time to straighten out the balance sheet, let’s get personal property back into the proper hands. You don’t want personal reminders constantly in your face while you’re trying to move on.
Work out of time and a place for a neutral mutual exchange of possessions. If that is not possible, or it cannot be worked out, there is always the dumpster, or perhaps donating to a needy thrift store. Letting go of physical mementos might hurt at the time but it will save a great deal of pain in the long run.
It is also a good idea to box up any gifts your ex gave you for a time. Wearing a watch that your ex gave you will make you think of them every time you check to see what time it is. That’s just not a good idea when getting over break up.
As long as you’re figuratively and literally cleaning house, think of things beyond personal possessions they could be reminders of the relationship. You might want to put away or give away any gifts that were given to you. You might even consider moving to a new location and making a complete fresh start of things.
One of the most difficult things to sort out can be a constant source of pain and ropes binding you to an old relationship our financial matters. Are your bank accounts and credit cards all tangled up? What about your credit? It is time to gain separation from the past. Don’t let the fact that this may be difficult prevent you from doing it. It might be a great idea to get some professional help involved either with an accountant, baner or lawyer. It must be done because tangled financial matters can provide the leverage for continued pain and misery.
What we’re trying to accomplish here is a systematic shutting down in bringing to a close the parts of your life you shared with your ex. We have started the process by getting rid of all the negative thoughts. emotions and anger. Next, we take care of physical possessions and visual reminders of the relationship, and lastly straighten out any financial ties.
After this is accomplished, is best to establish boundaries and limits and have no contact. There is a lot to be said for making a clean break of things. If this is an impossible long-term goal it least try to establish a no contact policy for a month or so. That means everything, phone calls,e-mails, texting and “casually bumping into them”.
The idea here is that you want to try to move forward and build a separate life from the past. It will be hard in the beginning but it’s very important to clear your head and give yourself some space in order to go about getting over the breakup.
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